You are Still the 1%

From New York to Oakland to…Namibia? Yes a new “Occupy” movement has started in the in the poverty-ridden parts of Africa and South America and Asia. They have seen the immense power of protests that have caused absolutely no change in the industrialized world and have decided to take action. These starved individuals have decided to take to the deserts and rainforests to fight for their rights!

But you may ask who exactly their targets are? No it’s not the hedge-fund managers or corporate executives of Wall Street; it is in fact the protesters on Wall Street. Yes these up-and-coming hunger-ridden freedom fighters are in fact protesting a protest.

One local village boy in Southern Ethiopia said that “those well-dressed, well-fed protesters do not know what suffering is. They all have salaries in five-figures. If they don’t have jobs, maybe they should consider working instead of camping.” (The boy had more to say, but someone mistook his right leg for a broken twig and kicked it. The boy was rushed to nowhere, as there are no hospitals in this part of the world).

Another lady, mother of 18, wished she could be as privileged as the Western 99%. “I would give anything to live their healthy lives.” (She was actually willing to give anything, trying to give me one of her children).

The local South American villager pointed out that “you may be suffering, but at least you still  have a toilet.”

But the main complaint was not how lucky the American protesters are, it is how lazy they are. In the slums of India, a father who is working two jobs to support his family pointed out that “all these people have opportunities for work, but they choose to complain.”

This cannot be true though. The protesters on Wall Street are working hard. They are camping and socializing and playing music. They are even willing to demand bathroom access at the businesses they are hurting. If that is not working I do not know what is.

When one man was asked to respond to this criticism of the Occupy Wall Street movement, he said that “this is work. We are working to restore America!”

That’s the spirit unemployed father of two! That’s the spirit college grad living with your parents! Do not settle for the money you may get from part-time work. If you are stuck with a Prius, get your A4! If you are stuck with an Alfani suit, get your Armani! Do not ever be satisfied. Working for a living is not important when fighting for your rights!

But most importantly, do not listen to the African boy when he tells you that “to us, you are still the 1%”.

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GOP Presidential Hopefuls

These presidential hopefuls dislike welfare, but expecting the wealthiest individuals in America is an indirect, privatized form

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They are Rich, Not Job Creators

Lowering the tax rate on the rich, the “job creators”, will help job growth.

Many Republican politicians, even some Democrat politicians, are claiming that this concept will create jobs. If the economic elites have lower tax burdens, because they don’t have enough money as it is, they will in return create jobs, be it in a corporation or a privately owned business.

This is a lie.

The rich are rich because they save money. The upper-class are not selfish devils, but they are not job creators either. Lowering the tax rate on the economic elite will not create jobs.

As I said earlier, the rich are rich because they save their money. The upper-class is not just a collection of random, often pretty, people that got it lucky in life. Most all of these individuals studied hard in college and grad school. They worked hard starting at entry level jobs and working their way up, be it in finance or medicine or engineering. On top of hard-work, these individuals saved their money. They lived within their means and saved enough money to send their kids to school and be able to retire. And in a really obvious statement, how can a corporate employee earning $300k a year create a job if he/she does not have the power to? Even if they are entrepreneurs own businesses, the rich will not create jobs with the extra money. The fiscally responsible thing to do with the extra money from lower taxes is to save it. Retirement benefits and social security withdrawals are all being moved further back. Saving any money from lower tax rates will help in being financially secure. In a capitalist economy, the individual is expected to work hard, take risks, and collect wealth; not give welfare jobs with any disposable income.

Now that we are on the idea of the accumulation of wealth, the wealthiest “people” of all, corporations, will not create jobs with lower tax rates. The liberal media heckled Mit Romney when he said that corporations are people, but wrongly so. In pure legal context, Romney was correct, corporations are people. Not saying that it is right, just saying that it is a fact in the legal context. So technically corporations are legal context. Common wisdom would lead to the belief that these companies would create jobs. Most Americans work for a corporation. But as jobs are being cut, profits are going up.

Corporate profitability in America has not just rebounded from the recession of 2008 but increased. But with this increased profitability, there has not been an increase in jobs. This is due to the fact that the purpose of a corporation is to make a profit. Its status as incorporated means that its duty is to return max profits to its shareholders. Creating jobs, when they are unnecessary, does not create profit. This does not make corporations monsters. They are only doing their jobs to the best of their abilities. Lowering taxes will just give corporations more profits, thus satisfying their shareholders even more.

But the main reason that tax cuts on the rich won’t work is not a direct result of the decisions of the rich. As mentioned earlier, corporate America is currently more profitable than ever. The recession helped these companies “trim the fat”. The record profits show that there were so many expendable corporate jobs during the economic boom before 2008. Why would corporations rehire these people if they do not bring value to profit-making? It makes absolutely no sense. Getting rid of the fluff jobs helped refocus companies and made current employees work harder. The recession was a lubricant to corporate America, removing all the gunk and cleaning up the engine.

Now I am wondering the same thing as you, how do we create jobs? That is a difficult question that not even the president can effectively answer, much less a blogger. Although I am against the mainstream Republican idea that lower taxes on the rich will create jobs, I am in agreement that government cannot create enough jobs. Liberal tv hosts like Rachael Maddow suggest that hiring people to work in infrastructure is a great idea. Create jobs while improving America. This is a great short-term idea, but when the construction worker fixes the bridge, where will he work? Long-term job growth will be in new industries. Corporations want students with specific education focuses like statistics, and emerging industries like biochem need as many educated workers as they can get. But the government cannot force anyone to pursue these fields. It is up to the individual to pursue fields where jobs are growing.

Fox News says to lower taxes on the “job creators”. Although this is what the the Fox News demographic wants to hear, this will not work. If wealthy individuals and corporations are making profits and are financially secure, there is no incentive to create jobs. Republican politicians always talk about incentives; there is a perfect example where their policies do not create any. Smart wealthy individuals save their money, and lowering tax rates on them will give them more to save. They are not selfish, they are smart. The right wing says that it is not the role of the government to create jobs, but nor is it the role of wealthy Americans. Expecting the rich to create jobs is basically an indirect way of giving out social welfare. The unemployed cannot expect the rich to handout jobs, rather, they need to look into fields where jobs are needed.

America did not become America through handouts, public or private. America became America through a pursuit. The pursuit of life, liberty, and happiness.

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The Debt Ceiling

I don’t know a lot about the whole debt issue and its complexities, but the struggle seems illogical. Isn’t a ceiling supposed to be finite? Something that keeps us in check?

Constantly increasing the ceiling defeats its purpose. This debt ceiling is infinite. It is no ceiling at all. This limiting factor does not complete its purpose, to limit the debt. Maybe America needs to default to get a reality check…


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Religion Incorporated

God should feel snubbed. He should feel insulted. Every single year, Forbes forgets to include him in the list of billionaires. His entire corporation, be it his son or its different employees and departments, has garnered an inordinate amount of money. God is the most successful corporate Chairman of all time. Religion is one of the most successful corporations of all time.

God has sold so many products during his lifetime. The amount of bling he has sold is ridiculous. So many shiny crosses and stars and ohms and crescent moons have been sold on chains. He clearly hurts the balance sheets for Zales and Kay Jewelers and Jarred’s with the amount of jewelry he has sold. The Christian department is the clear front runner, but the Jew department is right there in second. Through the pope and other religious figures, God has great salesmen to sell his shiny bling.

God’s famous son Jesus, the current CEO and major share holder, has been a valuable asset in Religion Inc.’s dominance. His name is everywhere. He is one of the most liked celebrities on Facebook and has 350k followers on twitter! He is on car plates, bumper stickers, fridge magnets, posters; name it, and he is on it. “WWJD” is the most famous acronym every made. His famous short story about being nailed to the cross is one of the most beloved tales of all time. Jesus could sell oxiclean faster than Billy Mays (may he rest in peace). Jesus is the most marketable man of all-time, and Religion Inc. knows this. Religion has made billions just off of Jesus, off of a man who preached material minimalism…

Religion Inc. has also made some fine real estate investments. While your house has tanked in today’s economy, Religion keeps making steady gains with its properties. People are flocking to these buildings every day. When people are dirt broke because they bought a house beyond their fiscal means, it seems praying will help them get that money back. And while houses are being foreclosed left and right and jobs are disappearing right and left, these religious properties are still making money. Donations are constantly being given to Religion Inc. even when people do not have jobs. I cannot believe my hedge-fund manager missed out on this great real estate opportunity.

Now to Religion’s biggest money-maker: books. God and his advisers have created the most popular literary pieces of all-time. The Bible is the highest selling book of all-time, while the other epic novels, like the Quran and Torah, have also brought in millions, if not billions, of dollars. JK Rowling makes pocket change compared to God. In America, bookstores have whole sections devoted to Christianity (sorry Dawkins, although The God Delusion was a great read). Religious buildings believe in sharing and even giving out these books for free. But not Religion Inc. When Religion wants money, it gets money. These fictional stories about self-abnegation and sacrifice have made Religion billions…

What do Donald Trump and God have common? Apart from the fact that they believe their name’s can sell products, it’s that they both are billionaires! Be it hotels or churches, these two visionaries have made fortunes off of capitalism. It is good to know that Jesus, Moses, and everyone else who preached about sacrifice and sharing are able to make money off of these moralistic ideas. Now where can I buy myself some shares in this industry?

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That Evil Bus

The most sinister, evil waste of taxpayer money (maybe even more wasteful than Iraq :O)-Obama’s Bus of DOOM

…jk the bus is nbd, but Iraq on the other hand…

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